Internet Dating Champion
Internet Dating
Champion
Subtitle
By Ryan Stefan and
Steven Alexander
Please note that this program is for entertainment purposes
only.
© Copyright 2009, All Rights Reserved
(Also be sure to insert this at the bottom of every page)
APPENDIX
Part 1. An
Introduction to Internet Dating
a. Why online dating?
b. What are YOU willing to do to get
this area of your life under control?
c. Some elusive obvious tips to
start out with/The Fundamental Laws of Online
Dating
Part 2. First
Impressions: The Initial Message
a. A look at what NOT to do (OR
“Here’s why most sheep will lead you off the
cliff”)
b. The Templates (for CL, e-mail,
blogs, myspace, facebook) and WHY they WORK
nearly EVERY TIME
c. Some tips on customization
Part 3. Creating a
Myspace/Facebook Page that a Woman Will Never Forget
a. A quick note on Myspace and
Facebook (And why you probably won’t have
women flocking to it... at least at first)
b. A template for a killer social
networking profile
c. For those looking for a
particular TYPE of girl (social stereotyping)
Part 4. Progressing
to the Next Step: IM/Text Message Game
a. Are YOU a master of words?
(Condense and communicate)
b. The Pretend Game (For lack of
better words, Ryan’s game theory) and some
other tricks to build a lasting connection
c. Things you can throw into a chat
to build attraction and things that will kill
it entirely
Part 5. Getting her
on the phone and meeting her
a. Why this is the easiest part to master
(After the above, you already HAVE the
skills to do this) (Talks about carrying the pretend game and other gambits over into phone and in-person
meeting)
b. The process
c. *A segment on random additional
tips and tricks for in-person connection
and gambits as well as some classic PuA stuff that ACTUALLY works. I want some of the best stuff
here because what this does is open a gateway
to get these customers to buy additional products from us if we make them*
PART 1: An
Introduction to Internet Dating
Hey. We’re glad this book fell into your hands, whether you
bought it, stole it, or borrowed it from a friend. There are a lot of other
materials out there on picking up women, but we noticed a trend. Those
materials either suck, have a lot of fluff in them, or they tell you to treat
girls like shit, which simply doesn’t work if you want a fulfilling, long-term
relationship. XXXWRITE REST OF INTRODUCTION LASTXXX
Why online dating?
- Talk about the advantages of online dating
- Good for
logical types
- Longer
timeframe to articulate a response
- Copy and
paste method. Templates
- There are
hot women online some you would have never met in person
- Going to
a club or bar sucks for most guys. It's just not their thing.
- When
women are online don't have the 'female beauty power' or *magic pussy syndrome*
power.
Most people can't attract people and end up all fucking each
other in their circle of friends. It's social incest.
What are YOU willing
to do to get this area of your life under control?
- Primer to the following materials
- Make sure
that you actually do something with the materials provided. Because knowing
something won't give you a true aha experience and a part of your brain won't
know if it really works for you or not and will hold you back from doing it
automatically.
- Take some
stuff from the How To Change Yourself ebook and other materials. Just give some
quick tips/instant gratification.
- The fun
stuff is coming just keep reading
- Some form
of plausible deniability such as a 30 day trial.
Some elusive obvious
tips to start out with/The Fundamental Laws of
Online Dating
- Fundamentals
- Talk to
multiple to multiple women at the same time and don't get too attached to a
particular woman or outcomes.
- Don't
come from a place of fear or loss because it comes off as unattractive.
- Don't get
addicted to the girl and hand your power over.
- *Since
humans are made to communicate mostly with body language, we can sometimes kind
of freak out when operating within the confines of machines as we are going off
of our instincts and emotions. Sometimes a girl can message you and you have an
emotional response to it, only to find out later that your emotional
interpretation and response was TOTALLY OFF and because of it you screwed up
the interaction. When this happens, just take note of it, play out the way
you'd like to handle the situation next time in your head at least 7 TIMES
(Explain that 7 seems to be the lucky number for automating responses) and then
MOVE ON.*
- Use
online dating for learning, not for the result. You aren't going to get
rejected by a girl online. The worst that could happen is that she doesn't talk
to you or respond, but maybe she has a boyfriend or she's a lesbian questioning
her existence.
- Let go of
your emotions
- Law #1?
Don't do what everyone else is doing.
- Don't
be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.
- WORK
ON YOURSELF
- Make a list of the great stories you tell that always get
laughs from your friends
- Don't indicate low self esteem/self respect, emotional
problems, anger issues, issues with women, low social status, shyness,
fascinations with weird things, relationship problems, pictures that social
outcasts would think are cool, unless that is who you are trying to attract.
Stay away from all of your issues. Elaborate. Examples.
- Don't EVER try to maneuver things into a relationship
right off the bat. Girls find this SO CREEPY. You get points for casually
mentioning that you’re seeking a long-term relationship, though.
Part 2. First
Impressions: The Initial Message... and the next few after that
- Email
address selection is important. Make sure you use a good name. Elaborate.
A look at what NOT to
do (OR “Here’s why most sheep will lead you off the cliff”)
Don’t qualify yourself. Give her the hoops to jump through.
The Templates (for
CL, e-mail, blogs, myspace, facebook) and WHY they WORK nearly EVERY TIME
Some tips on
customization
Think of customization as an art form. There are rules or
“guidelines” to be followed, and while you can bend or break these guidelines,
it is recommended that you master the art within
the confines of these guidelines first.
- Initial Email or Message
- Don't be
bland 'see don't do what everyone else is doing'
- Read at
least 100 guys' profiles//postings and note what is similar.
- Set up a
profile as a woman and read the responses that come in.
- Stand
out/Literally promote yourself as a product
- A good
Myspace trick. Send a blank message with the headline 'hey' or something
eye-catching. They will respond and say hi or who is this. Either way you have
a doorway in.
- Don't
be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.
- Talk shit in a playful manner, never lose, cross the line
- Always expect that you get 10X more in return for anything
they request. "Can you hold this beer?" "Do you have 15
dollars?"
- Raise your standards. *You want to do this because women
get SO MANY responses online that it's ridiculous. They HAVE to start weeding
guys out, so no ill feelings toward them for this mmmkay? Focus on getting her
attention initially. It is the MOST important thing* It's also good to maintain
the frame that we are the ones choosing them, because you ultimately want to
have choices anyways, right? "Discuss your boundaries, avoiding crazy
chicks, the fact that women can be flaky. Just talking about high standards in
an interesting and charming way can build attraction."
- Test
your pics on hotornot.com before using them
- Don't
ever send a 'gosh why aren't you responding you hurt my feelings?!' email.
Don't be a pussy
- Most
guys read a profile or ad from a girl and spend most of their time conditioning
their response so that they can try to have something in common with them or to
try get their approval instead of trying to figure out what she's actually like
so read with a critical eye. Create forks and find something you can be in
common with. Don't pick things from her profile because it's approval-seeking.
The difference between this and connection is bonding. If someone says they
like something and you say you like it BECAUSE of something she didn't say,
then she may agree with you and SHE'S approval-seeking.
- Avoid formality.
- Don't try to talk to her on a level where you are trying
to relate on a non-personal and non-sexual level. You aren't there to talk
about your job and how it pertains to hers. You aren't asking for more
information about living in her area because you'd like to move there because you're a fucking liar trying to pull
an outcome and she knows it.
- Freeconomics quotes. 57% of men who post ads don't even
get one email response. Men who say they want a long-term relationship do
better than ones you want a short-term lover. The opposite is true for women.
Richer men get more emails. For females there is a bell-curve. Low and
high-income women are undesirable. Blond hair on a woman is worth as much as a
college degree in online dating.
Part 3. Creating a
Myspace/Facebook Page that a Woman Will Never Forget
Don't include pics of other things to 'convey your
personality' unless you are IN THEM! EVERY PICTURE SHOULD HAVE YOU IN IT.
- Don't
be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.
BE OUTRAGEOUS
- Account
name selection is important. Make sure you use a good name. Elaborate.
Convey that you have standards
- Test
your pics on hotornot.com before using them
- Don't do cropped photos. People WILL assume that you are
hiding something or that you now don't get along with the other people in the
photo or dead bodies have been cropped out. Don't edit them either.
- If
you're older looking for younger women, don't state it in your email or profile
or they'll think you're a perv.
- Create
a blog once you have enough email addresses and have comments show up right on
main page which will give female social proof.
- In
marketing, if you change the headline so it's just right, you can get 5-10
times more people to respond, without even changing the rest.
- Talk
about seeking a relationship. Mention it casually though. "I'm enjoying my life and it'd be great
to have someone special there to enjoy it with me"
- When
making a profile, go look at profiles of guys that get a lot of comments from
women. Even better, ones that get a lot of comments from RANDOM women, not just
guys who get lots of comment from ‘let’s just be friends’ girls.
- Ask
women to look through your profile for any fatal flaws.
- Don't
advertise your flaws.
- Bad boy element. Be mysterious. Coming from a bad frame
according to everyone else and the woman wants to know more about it. “I’m the
guy your mom warned you about” Maybe I can heal him/fixxer upper mothering
instincts ACTIVATE. *It's the negative way of doing it.* Ryan says cool guy is
better. Give orders in a confident way. Frame control. Really the point here
though is that you are using your social networking page to convey to the woman
that is already speaking to you that you are not EASILY CATEGORIZED. We want to
confuse and maybe even intimidate a little here. We want her thinking “I’ve
never known anyone like this before... I MUST pursue him!”
A quick note on
Myspace and Facebook (And why you probably won’t have women flocking to it...
at least at first)
A template for a
killer social networking profile
- I like music, sports, cooking, having fun = DUMB AND
BORING. SPICE IT UP!!!
- I'm a Beatles freak, I know exactly when and where each
Beatle was born and I know exactly why their relationships never worked out,
ask me sometime = Spiced up
- I'll cook you an Italian dinner that will make you want to
kiss me, the only problem is you will have hardcore garlic breath so I won't
want to kiss you = Spiced up
- I have a confession to make: I am such a sports freak that
I actually put on my jersey when I watch the game with the ball in my lap. If
we end up in a relationship, please schedule shoe shopping, spa visits, and
male bashing during this time and it will make both of our lives better =
Spiced up
- I like to work out so I don't get old and ugly faster. I
hope you like to work out because well... I think I just said it = Spiced up
- I like self improvement. I'm not a self improvement freak
but.... well I guess I am one. Deal with it! I like how my life and how I feel
about my life get better every day = Spiced up
Customization: Think of customization as an art form. There
are rules or “guidelines” to be followed, and while you can bend or break these
guidelines, it is recommended that you master the art within the confines of these guidelines first.
For those looking for
a particular TYPE of girl (social stereotyping)
Do you ever notice that attractive women with lots of
tattoos and piercing are typically with guys that have a lot of tattoos and
piercings?
While most of you are probably just looking for a nice,
mentally sane, pretty girl (Like Ryan here), some guys (Like Steven) enjoy
crazy, melodramatic chicks, for shits and giggles. *I want to turn this into
some hardcore hilarious shit. I want to post a myspace of regular steve and
then message a girl who looks really gothy or emo or some shit and get no
response, and then rip off some other kids myspace, post really cheesy
melodramatic shots of me or someone else with makeup on, and then message them
again and get results. The world is your mirror. Convey what you want.
If you have women in your photos, make sure they mirror the
type of woman you'd like to attract otherwise you may turn them off if they
have their own aversions to any particular stereotypes they pick out.
Part 4. Progressing
to the Next Step: IM/Text Message Game
- Screenname selection is important. Make sure you use a
good name. Elaborate.
Are YOU a master of
words? (Condense and communicate)
The Pretend Game (For
lack of better words, Ryan’s game theory) and some other tricks to build a
lasting connection
Things you can throw
into a chat to build attraction and things that will kill it entirely
- IM/Chat
- A lot of
guys are way too needy. Don't sell too far in advance or ask a girl out on a
date after 5 minutes of chat. Build a little more attraction and ask them for
something like a cup of coffee.
- Don't be
monotonous or rigid or too nice. Don't get her to try to love you.
- Strike a
balance between progressing to the next step, having more and more fun, and
creating chemistry.
-
Overexaggerate communications with smileys and exclamation points when it can
be seen the wrong way but DON'T when you're just making ok. Don't do too many
lol's and haha's. Save that for the girls to do.
- Mustache
story
- Point
system with the girl
- You're
losing me
- If she
starts teasing you, tease her more. Ryan uses names to converse with women
online. Loser and jerkface are common names he anchors and uses and he can
bring the 'game' back on even if it's been awhile since he last talked to the
girl.
- Don't go
into 'you seem like a nice girl. wanna talk on the phone?' if there is no
reason for it just because there is a pause in the flow of the conversation.
Reward them. Go the 'type faster' route. Dial up the sexual tension.
- If
there is no flow in the conversation, don't say anything or say 'you're losing
me' after five minutes.
- Don't
be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.
-- Condense
and communicate. Poetry is popular because it requires skill to come up with
it. Mentions the Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller. Animals have what are called
fitness indicators and sexual signaling devices. He suggests that our large
brains are actually sexy and a part of one big mating ritual... this explains
why the rock stars and writers can lay all the girls. If you bring some skill
to the table when you communicate, you WILL captivate them. Condense a tremendous
amount of meaning into a few words.
One note on condense and communicate: You can either come
off to a girl as one of two types of guys online: 1. The guy that is using the
internet to meet women because he is needy and can’t find women any other way or
2. The guy that is so poetic and has such a wonderful way with words that he
prefers and enjoys to meet people online because words is one of his strengths.
You want to be in the latter category. The only way to dealign yourself from
guy #1 is to read a LOT of heavy stuff and practice these skills. I recommend
starting a blog and writing about things that you love and things that piss you
off. Post heated comments on other people’s blogs and see if you can provoke an
intense response from others. Join a forum with a bit of an intellectual slant
to it (and please, no bodybuilding forums. No offense to bodybuilders
themselves but these places are breeding grounds for stupidity). Even if it’s
kind of pseudo-intellectual, it’s going to make you sound WAY smarter and
poetic and mysterious once you are in a place where you are speaking with a
woman online. Being a master of wits is really where it’s at online, and you’ll
find it VERY useful when applied in real life situations as well.
- Talk shit in a playful manner, never lose, cross the line
- Always expect that you get 10X more in return for anything
they request. "Can you hold this beer?" "Do you have 15
dollars?"
- Raise
your standards. *You want to do this because women get SO MANY responses online
that it's ridiculous. They HAVE to start weeding guys out, so no ill feelings
toward them for this mmmkay? Focus on getting her attention initially. It is
the MOST important thing* It's also good to maintain the frame that we are the
ones choosing them, because you ultimately want to have choices anyways, right?
"Discuss your boundaries, avoiding crazy chicks, the fact that women can
be flaky. Just talking about high standards in an interesting and charming way
can build attraction."
- Let them talk about themselves as well. The more she talks
to you and opens up, the more she's investing
- Did you make that list of stories that get laughs from
your friends? Now is the time to use them. We want the girl to imagine you in
as many different scenarios and settings as possible with as many different
emotional infusions as possible. Think of this as taking the girl out on
several different dates in her mind. It’s going to make you appear much more
interesting to her.
- Don't respond too quickly to her sexual responses, or at
least who you perceive as sexual responses. Women sometimes use this as a test
when they first meet a guy to see what they’re after. If you come off too
sexual at the beginning then you might come off as needy or as one of those
guys who are only after one thing (although some girls are only after one thing
so use discretion here)
- "Maybe you could take me to dinner sometime" = A
test. Ask her to take you to dinner or say "There's a McDonald's around
the corner". "That's a great idea, and you could give me a 2 hour
massage afterwards"
- Don't
ever send a 'gosh why aren't you responding you hurt my feelings?!' IM. Don't
be a pussy. Elaborate more on how to deal with these situations. “You’re losing
me” is a great one.
Gambits to grab her attention again: "You're losing
me"
- When people complain after negging or whenever. There is a
difference between vulnerable and edgy/negative/complaining which is covering
up the vulnerability so don’t assume that you hurt their feelings with your
neg, but keep an eye out for it. Everyone has a different level of tolerance.
In some cultures, being nothing but “you are so pretty and smart” kind of nice
works great, but in most societies you have to put a little burn in your words.
- Most guys read a profile or ad from a girl and spend most
of their time conditioning their response so that they can try to have
something in common with them or to try get their approval instead of trying to
figure out what she's actually like so read with a critical eye. Create forks and
find something you can be in common with. Don't pick things from her profile
because it's approval-seeking. The difference between this and connection is
bonding. If someone says they like something and you say you like it BECAUSE of
something she didn't say, then she may agree with you and SHE'S
approval-seeking.
- Indicate good relationship with mom and sisters even if
you don't to get around that initial screen.
- Be random once in awhile. Women love this. (Ryan: Be
random a lot)
- Elaborate: 'window of opportunity' moments and how this is
so much more important than inserting your stupid quip. Don't insert witty
remarks without giving approval it's the skeptical geek way of doing things and
it turns women OFF. Top left johari window if you ask them if they know why
this turns women off and they say 'i dunno' or 'hes an ass' or 'he's creepy'
- *Be prepared to walk away from anyone if they aren't
willing to escalate with you because they are a WASTE OF TIME!*
Message girls whenever you want. The three day rule is what
everyone else is doing.
- Give her a funny nickname
Fractionate
- Emphasize that you are ambitious and passionate about the
things you do. Don't brag about it though.
- Communicate
that your life will be great with or without a woman and that you can make her
life better if she's around you. Don't come from a frame of neediness.
"I'm the best thing that can happen to this woman"
- Part 5. Getting her on the phone and
meeting her
Why this is the
easiest part to master/The Process (After the above, you already HAVE the
skills to do this) (Talks about carrying the pretend game and other gambits
over into phone and in-person meeting)
On Being Interesting
- Most
people live boring lives and don't know many people who are inspired or
energetic. They don't even KNOW anyone who is interesting. Attractive women
tend to know more interesting guys. Segway into being interesting from Ryan's
POV.
*A segment on random
additional tips and tricks for in-person connection and gambits as well as some
classic PuA stuff that ACTUALLY works. I want some of the best stuff here
because what this does is open a gateway to get these customers to buy
additional products from us if we make them*
- Admiring
her in a vulnerable moment. Kink in the armor and filling the hole with good or
bad things. If you don't judge them in a vulnerable moment they will trust you
and view you as relationship material and will see that you are their
protector.
- Talk shit in a playful manner, never lose, cross the line
- Always expect that you get 10X more in return for anything
they request. "Can you hold this beer?" "Do you have 15
dollars?"
- Raise your standards. *You want to do this because women
get SO MANY responses online that it's ridiculous. They HAVE to start weeding
guys out, so no ill feelings toward them for this mmmkay? Focus on getting her
attention initially. It is the MOST important thing* It's also good to maintain
the frame that we are the ones choosing them, because you ultimately want to
have choices anyways, right? "Discuss your boundaries, avoiding crazy
chicks, the fact that women can be flaky. Just talking about high standards in
an interesting and charming way can build attraction."
- Let them talk about themselves as well. The more she talks
to you and opens up, the more she's investing
- If she's busy when you arrange a meetup say 'break your
plans im more fun'
- Meet for a quick drink
so that there is little pressure in the situation and pre-plan something for
later after the meetup. She can come along if she wants.
- Bring friends to the meetup and they're hanging out. Go
talk with her alone though.
- Spend
2-3 hours with her telling stories and having fun before the small talk. Talk
shit and never lose for a few hours. Flirt for awhile. Build that framework
first. If you just start with small talk then you have nothing to go back to.
Flirting first gives you zingers to use later when you’d typically have
awkward, nothing-to-say moments. If you’ve talked to her a lot online already,
you will have this part done for you already!
- When you screw up don't say sorry or explain yourself. If
you do have to though, do it in a way that isn't like explaining yourself or
blame her in a funny and confident way. "Ryan and the ripped boxers"
- Never explain yourself because it looks like you are
kissing up or being insecure.
- Be random once in awhile. Women love this. (Ryan: Be
random a lot)
Use the funny nickname you gave her previously. If you
haven’t done this until meeting her, do it now! They love it.
uNoRGaNiZeD
- Exaggerative humor and taking a nonexistent fantasy
situation and making fun of them in that situation that obviously isn't real.
This takes care of the human need to neg.
- Be somewhat persistent. Don't give up just because she
doesn't respond once. Three is a good limit. This plugs into the 'you're losing
me' thing
- Don't give approval ahead of time when first meeting
instead of asking questions. Assume she's already attracted to you. None of
that 'nice smile' kind of shit in your
- When your audience is reading your communication, they are
alone, so speak in a comfortable, casual conversational style on both your
profile and your emails.
- Indicate that you are on your path or purpose in your life
and that nothing can distract you from it. Communicate that you know what you
want out of life.