How to be Lucky on Purpose: Self Improvement

Showing posts with label Self Improvement. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

How to be Lucky on Purpose

How to be Lucky on Purpose

By: Ryan Stefan

Pre Draft
8/24/2009

Goals to become something you do
Mindsets to become someone new
Habits and consistency
The subconscious resists change
Reprogramming theory
Knowledge isn’t power
Tips and advice don’t help
Mental emotional and physical
What’s right for me?
Balanced state
Intuition decision
Visualization theory
Visualization technique
Passion vs. obsession

Goals to become something you do

Most of the advice people give and a lot of books pertaining to changing certain patterns in people’s lives are designed assuming that once you know something it becomes a part of who you are. It assumes that with knowledge comes decision. I also used to give myself and others the same type of advice. The problem is it never worked, all it did was build a larger list of things I did that I knew where bad habits. So the more I read, the more I started to dislike myself. The fact is knowledge alone does not influence your decisions, you need consistency. When you do something consistently it becomes something your subconscious identifies as habit or something that you do and therefore does not resist doing that thing. It becomes a part of who you are and only through consistency. And how you identify yourself is the same way. People think of themselves habitually the same way. So in order to be more confident you need consistency not knowledge or experience. So whether its something you want to do or some way you want to think you must take action and keep it consistent until its habit to make any lasting change in your life.

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Mindsets to become someone new

A lot of people say seeing is believing, but I can see that the opposite is actually true. Believing is seeing. Especially considering people who believe they can’t do something either doesn’t try at all or severally inhibit their effort. So if you wanted to be a Hollywood actor you would be more likely to try out if you believed it was possible. So just believing its possible will super accelerate the process. Assuming something negative about yourself in any aspect of your life is like an unnecessary anchor. A negative habitual mind frame can consume all of your energy and happiness. Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between negative and positive. It doesn’t know whether what you’re thinking about or what habits you have are what you want or don’t want. So if you have a habit of lowering your own confidence your subconscious will continue retaining the status quo whether you like it or not.

Habits and consistency

On a day to day basis I’m usually about evenly productive each day on average. Sometimes I try something new in my routine and most of the time it feigns quickly and I’m back to normal. Sometimes however I enjoy the new routine and continue doing it and before I know it it’s just as routine as everything else. If I do anything routine everyday then whatever it is that I’m doing will be one of the most significant factors in my future the habits I pick up define me as a person. So this book is to teach you how to control all your habits effortlessly.

The subconscious resists change

Your subconscious mind processes roughly 40 billion bits of information per second, but you only consciously aware of about 20 thousand bits of that information. Your conscious mind is only a small part of a much larger system. Your subconscious controls all the decisions you make and puts them into a database of what defines you. Your conscious mind gives you the ability to change what you do, but you subconscious automatically resist any change. This prevents you from making potentially harmful habits. It also however makes it extremely hard to form new habits. You must get the subconscious to identify the change as a part of you. The best way to do this is to consciously do it no matter what everyday no matter how much your subconscious resists it. Your subconscious doesn’t know good from bad, negative from positive all it knows is status quo, regular from irregular. So you must convince your subconscious that what you’re doing or how your thinking is now a normal part of you.

The reprogramming system

Most people know that it takes roughly a month to form a habit, but going 30 days straight doing the same task seems a little impossible especially considering after doing something new for only a few days is extremely hard. Well I used to think that on day 30 a habit would form poof just like magic, although I never made it that far. Then I stumbled upon a system that compartmentalized the 30 days. Basically the first 10 days of trying to form a new habit is like defying gravity. I’ve found that it doesn’t usually last the whole 10 days. Then after the 10 day mark till the day 20 mark it’s no longer so hard, but your subconscious is still resisting it. This point however is much easier then the first 10 days. Then after 20 days of repetition you enter the acclimation stage. This stage is where it inverts; you subconscious now will suggest it. Then after 30 days it’s completely a habit and you don’t even have to think about it.

Knowledge isn’t power

Sometimes when I learned something powerful enough it would change a habit or create one. This lead me to believe that in order to change I simply needed to know more information. What I didn’t realize is that when I had changed from learning something my subconscious mind still resisted it, but because what I learned was so powerful I consciously did it consistently despite my subconscious minds resistance. This type of progress is rare, it isn’t always a good thing, and it progresses very slow. So needless to say having the ability to control what your subconscious considers your identity would super accelerate your progression through life. Nothing becomes a part of who you are whether an experience or a epiphany until it is habit. “If it’s not habit you don’t have it”.

Tips and advice don’t help

Great advice rarely helps people because it’s used incorrectly. Knowing something just simply isn’t good enough. The best advice is very simple to understand and can be done consistently to form a habit. Also if I told someone over weight for example not to eat and he told his subconscious everyday not to eat it wouldn’t do anything because your subconscious can’t identify you with “not to eat” so it knows that you don’t want to eat so you must still be identifying yourself as overweight and therefore retains that belief by making you hungry. Telling your subconscious your skinny or that you have a small appetite however will cause your subconscious to identify with being skinny and as a result makes you not hungry. You don’t have to force yourself to not eat because you simply won’t have an appetite because that’s who you are now and the external events will fall into place.

Mental, Emotional, and Physical

Taking your goals one step at a time gives you more leverage and a higher probability of reaching your goals. I like to prioritize goals in 3 simple categories are mental, physical, and emotional. Finding the next step in each category should be fairly easy. Your mental goal could be to take more classes at school or read more. Your emotional goal might be to get closer to your loved ones. And your physical might be t exercise everyday. Those goals keep me balanced so I can achieve career, spiritual, or self image goals more effectively.

What’s right for me?

One of the biggest questions out there in today’s society is what you should do for a career. I think that the career that’s right for anyone is what plugs into how you already identify yourself and the habits you already have. And I think to have a perfect job you have to perfectly identify yourself with the job. This can be done intentionally. If you wanted to be a real estate agent because you’re maybe a social person or maybe you like looking at houses then make looking at house and talking to people about them a habit. You will notice that being a real estate agent went from being the ideal job to the perfect job just by changing a few habits. So its much easier to shape yourself into a career then trying to find one that fits your current habits. Then all you have to do it make sure you like identifying yourself to the career and habits you will form with that career. Although with work even your preferences can be changed just by identifying yourself as the type of person who likes doing anything. And its not a matter of how motivated you are to do something the only thing that matters is that you consistently make an effort to reprogram how you identify yourself until doing things you wouldn’t normally do become effortless. So instead of what career you should pick, think what kind of person I want to become.

Balanced State

Once I started creating my own identity and reality on purpose through repetition and meditation I realized different emotional states change how I react. So you might be in one emotional state one day and do one set of habits then be in a different state the next day and do a completely different set of habits. This emotional inconsistency is a huge contribution to making lasting change seem very difficult. I also found that when doing something I enjoyed as a hobby for example playing pool. My emotional state would cause me to lean different. So if I’m sad when I play pool I will get good at pool in a sad state, but when I play pool happy it changes how I lean and shoot and I miss every shot. So being able to step back and balance yourself will allow you to make consistent habits and also allow you to perform much more consistently. A balanced calm state can be achieved by simply taking deep breaths and detaching yourself or letting go of everything. With practice this becomes second nature.

Intuition decision

Once I realized that I can choose to do anything I want and make it a part of me. I can even choose to want something that I currently don’t want by purposely incorporating it into my subconscious. I started to think about things completely different. Instead of thinking what I needed to do to become confident I simply made a mental note that I want to become the type of person that is confident and program it later. The only use for my conscious mind was a relay point to filter what I want and it would become true automatically. Knowing my subconscious is so much more powerful it seems silly to deny my intuition. Now that I know how to use my brain to create my own reality instead of falling victim to it I no longer fill my conscious mind with worries or needs. I just simply become what I need to become to get what I need. Once you program yourself into someone who manifests whatever you want or whoever you want to become life begins to be radiant with beauty and abundance with nothing to distract you from the wonders in life.

Visualization theory

Reprogramming your identity only takes a few minutes a day with this powerful technique. Giving someone advice doesn’t usually change them, but getting them into habit will change the course of their lives indefinitely. So I’m going to urge you to do this simple technique for 10 days, then I want you to do it for another 10 days. Then the 10 days after that you will do it without even reminding yourself and by then your life will have changed completely. The way you think will change and everything else just falls into place in order to make your new identity completely congruent. First you need to know what it is you want to change. And remember your changing into someone not wishing upon a star. You can’t quit smoking you must become someone with clean lungs. Or become someone who owns a really nice car. Or become someone who does well in school. And you’ll find yourself doing homework as if you always had with this simple technique as a habit.

Visualization technique

So this technique essentially changes how you identify yourself on a subconscious level changing your conscious mind as a result and how you identify yourself. You will think differently and things around you will fit into your new reality like destiny. Ok so here are the steps. First figure out what it is you want to change or become. Take that new identity and figure out what emotion you would feel if you had it now. Find a past memory where you had a similar emotion, but with a lot of power. Now find somewhere quiet where you can relax distraction free. Close your eyes and tilt them upward slightly. Now take 5-10 deep breaths focusing on your breathing and on every exhale let you shoulders relax deeper and deeper causing your whole body to loosen. This will get your mind in an alpha state. In this state your subconscious is influenced more directly. Now that you’re in this state bring up the past memory and run through the experience as vividly as possible for a minute or two. Once you feel the emotion welling up inside you use it to fuel your visualization or whatever it is that you want. Try to get as much detail as possible and make sure you imagine already having it or effortlessly acquiring it. See details, hear the sound, elaborate words of commandment or appreciation, and smell of the room. Feel the leather of the steering wheel or the wad f cash brushing in your fingers. And when you have finished say to yourself out loud. “I now allow myself to have______” filling in the blank with whatever you imagined having. Then take a deep relaxing breath and say to yourself “so be it, it is done”. Then don’t think about it, let go. You don’t have to worry about doing it perfect because you know your going to do it the next day until your subconscious completely accept it and your life starts to transform automatically as your conscious mind sits back and watches in amazement.

Passion vs. obsession

One more thing I need to clarify. Don’t confuse passion with a burst of willpower. Passion is more like a progressive habit that you enjoy doing and is what you should shoot for in your visualizations. However being super motivated to get something over with can be counterproductive. Coming from a place of negativity is always counterproductive. So make sure you imagine enjoying what you want to do otherwise you might create some very stressful habits.

Audio Seminar

Sunday, October 4, 2009

How to Learn More Effectively

Along with most things in life, the human mind remembers the things the opposite of how someone might think it would. Counter intuitively, the more frequently you see something, the weaker your mind reinforces the memory at each exposure.

This is why when you are stressed about a test and constantly study and come test day you struggle to recall what you studied. I take this one back to yet another evolutionary analogy.

Evolution of Memory

Lets say a caveman comes out of his cave and sees a bush with berries. He eats the berries and; bam, he has diarrhea. So this caveman comes out of his cave every day and sees this bush and is reminded that they gave him diarrhea, don't eat them. Since that's frequently reminded to him externally his brain internally sees no urgent priority to save this in his memory. So the memory is lightly reinforced each day.

So if this bush died and a year later he stumbled across another berry tree like that one. He might have forgotten, then eaten the berry again causing diarrhea. Now of course the caveman remembers the original berry tree in front of his cave. Now his brain knows that he is no longer frequently reminded of this berry externally, so his brain will heavily reinforce this memory and he will be very unlikely to forget in the future.

Best Practice

So if you want to effectively study for a test, do a quick overview, then the next day or a few days later overview it again and I personally guarantee you will see test score improvements as well as a lot more free time. Also eating chocolate or any scent while studying and then again during the test will cause improved recall and essentially better test scores.

There have been studies that show two weeks is the peak waiting time for memory reinforcement. So lightly studying two weeks ahead of schedule would be a very good way to improve your recall come test time.

The Shadow

The shadow is basically a hidden part of someone that is projected onto other people. Most of the time when someone dislikes something about someone else its a suppressed part of themselves.

For example if their parents yelled at them for doing something as a kid and all their life they grew up seeing kids do something they truly wanted to do, but judged them as doing something wrong. Then as an adult that part of them gets more and more suppressed as they justify what their parents taught them even though its a secret part of them.
Everyone does this and its not just the things their parents taught them its in our culture. What I'm trying to encourage is that instead of dwelling on disliking someone for doing something, dwell on why you dislike what someone is doing and figure out why it is that your not doing it. Maybe it isn't even a logical reason.

How to Lose Weight

I see a lot of diet programs out there all of them with the “newest breakthrough!” and I understand with all of these diet programs floating around its hard to know what actually works.

Well I obsessed over the answer for a few months actually not because I personally feel I'm over weight, but just because I cant stand not understanding something.

Heres what I came up with, Its so simple, yet so effective.

The key is frequency I have actually had trouble gaining weight because I'm a frequent snacker I actually rarely am full I just snack when I get hungry.

What this does is it tells my body “hey you get food all the time no need to conserve anything” and as a result my metabolism sky rockets.

So heres what you do eat some crackers every few hours or a bag of chips health nut or not this will drop some serious pounds very quick.

The reason this works, if you think back to what we have evolved from, we used to hunt for food. Some cultures still hunt for food on a daily basis. So we evolved from not knowing if we would eat that day or even that week.

So lets say a hunter doesnt find any pigs in the woods or whatever that day, well his body is going to slow its metabolism down in order to conserve food. Now if this hunter kills 3 pigs one day and eats a little off the pig constantly then his body will know this he is frequently eating and theres no need to conserve anything.

Everything from sleeping, eating, to going to the bathroom is all run on a biological patten called the circadian rhythm. So if you eat one huge meal a day for dinner then your circadian rhythm is going to naturally conserve your food until around that time the next day.

This is were healthy food comes into play the food now has so much fat and sugar in it that when your body conserves it, it over compensates and you end up packing a lot of extra baggage. Yet if you simply ate those sugary foods more frequently you wouldn't have that problem you could eat whatever you wanted and be completely healthy.

So when you see a diet with healthy food, or a diet that makes you less hungry all those do is make you suffer because you think you have to. When in reality snacking all the time and doing the opposite is the natural way to lose weight.

6 Human Needs

I watched a Tony Robbins seminar probably about a year or so ago and he basically said that every desire a human ever has is at its core to essentially fulfill 1 or more of 6 basic human needs.

These needs are:
-certainty
-uncertainty
-love and or connection with others
-significance

-growth
-contribution

Since then I have used these to categorize and farther understand why I want the things I want. And has made figuring out how to balance myself and be a happier person a lot easier.

So I'm going to kinda define these needs so that you can understand what they mean exactly.

Certainty – To be certain about things is essential whether this be a sense of security, or maybe know what and why your going to do that day.

Uncertainty – This is essential because if we are too certain about things in our lives we would be bored. So this can be obtained by wreck less and dangerous acts or maybe reading a mystery novel.

Love and connection – Without friends and family we would be very, very lonley.

Significance – We need to feel important. Some people achieve this feeling though work, some through competition, but everyone meets this need some how.

Ok now the next two needs are not always achieved by everyone for example someone addicted to drugs will get the first four needs met, but not the last two.

Growth – People need to grow in their ambitions. This is where passion comes from.

Contribution – Contributing your growth to others.

Everyone gets these needs met in a way based on their own beliefs Is most effective. Once you can get them all met residually then you will have ultimate balance.

Also seeing this in other people you will recognize that they are just trying to meet there needs no need in getting in their way. So judge not, everyone is human.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Internet Dating Champion

Internet Dating Champion

Subtitle

By Ryan Stefan and Steven Alexander

Please note that this program is for entertainment purposes only.

APPENDIX

Part 1. An Introduction to Internet Dating

a. Why online dating?

b. What are YOU willing to do to get this area of your life under control?

c. Some elusive obvious tips to start out with/The Fundamental Laws of Online Dating

Part 2. First Impressions: The Initial Message

a. A look at what NOT to do (OR “Here’s why most sheep will lead you off the cliff”)

b. The Templates (for CL, e-mail, blogs, myspace, facebook) and WHY they WORK nearly EVERY TIME

c. Some tips on customization

Part 3. Creating a Myspace/Facebook Page that a Woman Will Never Forget

a. A quick note on Myspace and Facebook (And why you probably won’t have women flocking to it... at least at first)

b. A template for a killer social networking profile

c. For those looking for a particular TYPE of girl (social stereotyping)

Part 4. Progressing to the Next Step: IM/Text Message Game

a. Are YOU a master of words? (Condense and communicate)

b. The Pretend Game (For lack of better words, Ryan’s game theory) and some other tricks to build a lasting connection

c. Things you can throw into a chat to build attraction and things that will kill it entirely

Part 5. Getting her on the phone and meeting her

a. Why this is the easiest part to master (After the above, you already HAVE the skills to do this) (Talks about carrying the pretend game and other gambits over into phone and in-person meeting)

b. The process

c. *A segment on random additional tips and tricks for in-person connection and gambits as well as some classic PuA stuff that ACTUALLY works. I want some of the best stuff here because what this does is open a gateway to get these customers to buy additional products from us if we make them*

PART 1: An Introduction to Internet Dating

Hey. We’re glad this book fell into your hands, whether you bought it, stole it, or borrowed it from a friend. There are a lot of other materials out there on picking up women, but we noticed a trend. Those materials either suck, have a lot of fluff in them, or they tell you to treat girls like shit, which simply doesn’t work if you want a fulfilling, long-term relationship. XXXWRITE REST OF INTRODUCTION LASTXXX

Why online dating?

- Talk about the advantages of online dating

- Good for logical types

- Longer timeframe to articulate a response

- Copy and paste method. Templates

- There are hot women online some you would have never met in person

- Going to a club or bar sucks for most guys. It's just not their thing.

- When women are online don't have the 'female beauty power' or *magic pussy syndrome* power.

Most people can't attract people and end up all fucking each other in their circle of friends. It's social incest.

What are YOU willing to do to get this area of your life under control?

- Primer to the following materials

- Make sure that you actually do something with the materials provided. Because knowing something won't give you a true aha experience and a part of your brain won't know if it really works for you or not and will hold you back from doing it automatically.

- Take some stuff from the How To Change Yourself ebook and other materials. Just give some quick tips/instant gratification.

- The fun stuff is coming just keep reading

- Some form of plausible deniability such as a 30 day trial.

Some elusive obvious tips to start out with/The Fundamental Laws of Online Dating

- Fundamentals

- Talk to multiple to multiple women at the same time and don't get too attached to a particular woman or outcomes.

- Don't come from a place of fear or loss because it comes off as unattractive.

- Don't get addicted to the girl and hand your power over.

- *Since humans are made to communicate mostly with body language, we can sometimes kind of freak out when operating within the confines of machines as we are going off of our instincts and emotions. Sometimes a girl can message you and you have an emotional response to it, only to find out later that your emotional interpretation and response was TOTALLY OFF and because of it you screwed up the interaction. When this happens, just take note of it, play out the way you'd like to handle the situation next time in your head at least 7 TIMES (Explain that 7 seems to be the lucky number for automating responses) and then MOVE ON.*

- Use online dating for learning, not for the result. You aren't going to get rejected by a girl online. The worst that could happen is that she doesn't talk to you or respond, but maybe she has a boyfriend or she's a lesbian questioning her existence.

- Let go of your emotions

- Law #1? Don't do what everyone else is doing.

- Don't be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.

- WORK ON YOURSELF

- Make a list of the great stories you tell that always get laughs from your friends

- Don't indicate low self esteem/self respect, emotional problems, anger issues, issues with women, low social status, shyness, fascinations with weird things, relationship problems, pictures that social outcasts would think are cool, unless that is who you are trying to attract. Stay away from all of your issues. Elaborate. Examples.

- Don't EVER try to maneuver things into a relationship right off the bat. Girls find this SO CREEPY. You get points for casually mentioning that you’re seeking a long-term relationship, though.

Part 2. First Impressions: The Initial Message... and the next few after that

- Email address selection is important. Make sure you use a good name. Elaborate.

A look at what NOT to do (OR “Here’s why most sheep will lead you off the cliff”)

Don’t qualify yourself. Give her the hoops to jump through.

The Templates (for CL, e-mail, blogs, myspace, facebook) and WHY they WORK nearly EVERY TIME

Some tips on customization

Think of customization as an art form. There are rules or “guidelines” to be followed, and while you can bend or break these guidelines, it is recommended that you master the art within the confines of these guidelines first.

- Initial Email or Message

- Don't be bland 'see don't do what everyone else is doing'

- Read at least 100 guys' profiles//postings and note what is similar.

- Set up a profile as a woman and read the responses that come in.

- Stand out/Literally promote yourself as a product

- A good Myspace trick. Send a blank message with the headline 'hey' or something eye-catching. They will respond and say hi or who is this. Either way you have a doorway in.

- Don't be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.

- Talk shit in a playful manner, never lose, cross the line

- Always expect that you get 10X more in return for anything they request. "Can you hold this beer?" "Do you have 15 dollars?"

- Raise your standards. *You want to do this because women get SO MANY responses online that it's ridiculous. They HAVE to start weeding guys out, so no ill feelings toward them for this mmmkay? Focus on getting her attention initially. It is the MOST important thing* It's also good to maintain the frame that we are the ones choosing them, because you ultimately want to have choices anyways, right? "Discuss your boundaries, avoiding crazy chicks, the fact that women can be flaky. Just talking about high standards in an interesting and charming way can build attraction."

- Test your pics on hotornot.com before using them

- Don't ever send a 'gosh why aren't you responding you hurt my feelings?!' email. Don't be a pussy

- Most guys read a profile or ad from a girl and spend most of their time conditioning their response so that they can try to have something in common with them or to try get their approval instead of trying to figure out what she's actually like so read with a critical eye. Create forks and find something you can be in common with. Don't pick things from her profile because it's approval-seeking. The difference between this and connection is bonding. If someone says they like something and you say you like it BECAUSE of something she didn't say, then she may agree with you and SHE'S approval-seeking.

- Avoid formality.

- Don't try to talk to her on a level where you are trying to relate on a non-personal and non-sexual level. You aren't there to talk about your job and how it pertains to hers. You aren't asking for more information about living in her area because you'd like to move there because you're a fucking liar trying to pull an outcome and she knows it.

- Freeconomics quotes. 57% of men who post ads don't even get one email response. Men who say they want a long-term relationship do better than ones you want a short-term lover. The opposite is true for women. Richer men get more emails. For females there is a bell-curve. Low and high-income women are undesirable. Blond hair on a woman is worth as much as a college degree in online dating.

Part 3. Creating a Myspace/Facebook Page that a Woman Will Never Forget

Don't include pics of other things to 'convey your personality' unless you are IN THEM! EVERY PICTURE SHOULD HAVE YOU IN IT.

- Don't be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.

BE OUTRAGEOUS

- Account name selection is important. Make sure you use a good name. Elaborate.

Convey that you have standards

- Test your pics on hotornot.com before using them

- Don't do cropped photos. People WILL assume that you are hiding something or that you now don't get along with the other people in the photo or dead bodies have been cropped out. Don't edit them either.

- If you're older looking for younger women, don't state it in your email or profile or they'll think you're a perv.

- Create a blog once you have enough email addresses and have comments show up right on main page which will give female social proof.

- In marketing, if you change the headline so it's just right, you can get 5-10 times more people to respond, without even changing the rest.

- Talk about seeking a relationship. Mention it casually though. "I'm enjoying my life and it'd be great to have someone special there to enjoy it with me"

- When making a profile, go look at profiles of guys that get a lot of comments from women. Even better, ones that get a lot of comments from RANDOM women, not just guys who get lots of comment from ‘let’s just be friends’ girls.

- Ask women to look through your profile for any fatal flaws.

- Don't advertise your flaws.

- Bad boy element. Be mysterious. Coming from a bad frame according to everyone else and the woman wants to know more about it. “I’m the guy your mom warned you about” Maybe I can heal him/fixxer upper mothering instincts ACTIVATE. *It's the negative way of doing it.* Ryan says cool guy is better. Give orders in a confident way. Frame control. Really the point here though is that you are using your social networking page to convey to the woman that is already speaking to you that you are not EASILY CATEGORIZED. We want to confuse and maybe even intimidate a little here. We want her thinking “I’ve never known anyone like this before... I MUST pursue him!”

A quick note on Myspace and Facebook (And why you probably won’t have women flocking to it... at least at first)

A template for a killer social networking profile

- I like music, sports, cooking, having fun = DUMB AND BORING. SPICE IT UP!!!

- I'm a Beatles freak, I know exactly when and where each Beatle was born and I know exactly why their relationships never worked out, ask me sometime = Spiced up

- I'll cook you an Italian dinner that will make you want to kiss me, the only problem is you will have hardcore garlic breath so I won't want to kiss you = Spiced up

- I have a confession to make: I am such a sports freak that I actually put on my jersey when I watch the game with the ball in my lap. If we end up in a relationship, please schedule shoe shopping, spa visits, and male bashing during this time and it will make both of our lives better = Spiced up

- I like to work out so I don't get old and ugly faster. I hope you like to work out because well... I think I just said it = Spiced up

- I like self improvement. I'm not a self improvement freak but.... well I guess I am one. Deal with it! I like how my life and how I feel about my life get better every day = Spiced up

Customization: Think of customization as an art form. There are rules or “guidelines” to be followed, and while you can bend or break these guidelines, it is recommended that you master the art within the confines of these guidelines first.

For those looking for a particular TYPE of girl (social stereotyping)

Do you ever notice that attractive women with lots of tattoos and piercing are typically with guys that have a lot of tattoos and piercings?

While most of you are probably just looking for a nice, mentally sane, pretty girl (Like Ryan here), some guys (Like Steven) enjoy crazy, melodramatic chicks, for shits and giggles. *I want to turn this into some hardcore hilarious shit. I want to post a myspace of regular steve and then message a girl who looks really gothy or emo or some shit and get no response, and then rip off some other kids myspace, post really cheesy melodramatic shots of me or someone else with makeup on, and then message them again and get results. The world is your mirror. Convey what you want.

If you have women in your photos, make sure they mirror the type of woman you'd like to attract otherwise you may turn them off if they have their own aversions to any particular stereotypes they pick out.

Part 4. Progressing to the Next Step: IM/Text Message Game

- Screenname selection is important. Make sure you use a good name. Elaborate.

Are YOU a master of words? (Condense and communicate)

The Pretend Game (For lack of better words, Ryan’s game theory) and some other tricks to build a lasting connection

Things you can throw into a chat to build attraction and things that will kill it entirely

- IM/Chat

- A lot of guys are way too needy. Don't sell too far in advance or ask a girl out on a date after 5 minutes of chat. Build a little more attraction and ask them for something like a cup of coffee.

- Don't be monotonous or rigid or too nice. Don't get her to try to love you.

- Strike a balance between progressing to the next step, having more and more fun, and creating chemistry.

- Overexaggerate communications with smileys and exclamation points when it can be seen the wrong way but DON'T when you're just making ok. Don't do too many lol's and haha's. Save that for the girls to do.

- Mustache story

- Point system with the girl

- You're losing me

- If she starts teasing you, tease her more. Ryan uses names to converse with women online. Loser and jerkface are common names he anchors and uses and he can bring the 'game' back on even if it's been awhile since he last talked to the girl.

- Don't go into 'you seem like a nice girl. wanna talk on the phone?' if there is no reason for it just because there is a pause in the flow of the conversation. Reward them. Go the 'type faster' route. Dial up the sexual tension.

- If there is no flow in the conversation, don't say anything or say 'you're losing me' after five minutes.

- Don't be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.

-- Condense and communicate. Poetry is popular because it requires skill to come up with it. Mentions the Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller. Animals have what are called fitness indicators and sexual signaling devices. He suggests that our large brains are actually sexy and a part of one big mating ritual... this explains why the rock stars and writers can lay all the girls. If you bring some skill to the table when you communicate, you WILL captivate them. Condense a tremendous amount of meaning into a few words.

One note on condense and communicate: You can either come off to a girl as one of two types of guys online: 1. The guy that is using the internet to meet women because he is needy and can’t find women any other way or 2. The guy that is so poetic and has such a wonderful way with words that he prefers and enjoys to meet people online because words is one of his strengths. You want to be in the latter category. The only way to dealign yourself from guy #1 is to read a LOT of heavy stuff and practice these skills. I recommend starting a blog and writing about things that you love and things that piss you off. Post heated comments on other people’s blogs and see if you can provoke an intense response from others. Join a forum with a bit of an intellectual slant to it (and please, no bodybuilding forums. No offense to bodybuilders themselves but these places are breeding grounds for stupidity). Even if it’s kind of pseudo-intellectual, it’s going to make you sound WAY smarter and poetic and mysterious once you are in a place where you are speaking with a woman online. Being a master of wits is really where it’s at online, and you’ll find it VERY useful when applied in real life situations as well.

- Talk shit in a playful manner, never lose, cross the line

- Always expect that you get 10X more in return for anything they request. "Can you hold this beer?" "Do you have 15 dollars?"

- Let them talk about themselves as well. The more she talks to you and opens up, the more she's investing

- Did you make that list of stories that get laughs from your friends? Now is the time to use them. We want the girl to imagine you in as many different scenarios and settings as possible with as many different emotional infusions as possible. Think of this as taking the girl out on several different dates in her mind. It’s going to make you appear much more interesting to her.

- Don't respond too quickly to her sexual responses, or at least who you perceive as sexual responses. Women sometimes use this as a test when they first meet a guy to see what they’re after. If you come off too sexual at the beginning then you might come off as needy or as one of those guys who are only after one thing (although some girls are only after one thing so use discretion here)

- "Maybe you could take me to dinner sometime" = A test. Ask her to take you to dinner or say "There's a McDonald's around the corner". "That's a great idea, and you could give me a 2 hour massage afterwards"

- Don't ever send a 'gosh why aren't you responding you hurt my feelings?!' IM. Don't be a pussy. Elaborate more on how to deal with these situations. “You’re losing me” is a great one.

Gambits to grab her attention again: "You're losing me"

- When people complain after negging or whenever. There is a difference between vulnerable and edgy/negative/complaining which is covering up the vulnerability so don’t assume that you hurt their feelings with your neg, but keep an eye out for it. Everyone has a different level of tolerance. In some cultures, being nothing but “you are so pretty and smart” kind of nice works great, but in most societies you have to put a little burn in your words.

- Indicate good relationship with mom and sisters even if you don't to get around that initial screen.

- Be random once in awhile. Women love this. (Ryan: Be random a lot)

- Elaborate: 'window of opportunity' moments and how this is so much more important than inserting your stupid quip. Don't insert witty remarks without giving approval it's the skeptical geek way of doing things and it turns women OFF. Top left johari window if you ask them if they know why this turns women off and they say 'i dunno' or 'hes an ass' or 'he's creepy'

- *Be prepared to walk away from anyone if they aren't willing to escalate with you because they are a WASTE OF TIME!*

Message girls whenever you want. The three day rule is what everyone else is doing.

- Give her a funny nickname

Fractionate

- Emphasize that you are ambitious and passionate about the things you do. Don't brag about it though.

- Communicate that your life will be great with or without a woman and that you can make her life better if she's around you. Don't come from a frame of neediness. "I'm the best thing that can happen to this woman"

- Part 5. Getting her on the phone and meeting her

Why this is the easiest part to master/The Process (After the above, you already HAVE the skills to do this) (Talks about carrying the pretend game and other gambits over into phone and in-person meeting)

On Being Interesting

- Most people live boring lives and don't know many people who are inspired or energetic. They don't even KNOW anyone who is interesting. Attractive women tend to know more interesting guys. Segway into being interesting from Ryan's POV.

*A segment on random additional tips and tricks for in-person connection and gambits as well as some classic PuA stuff that ACTUALLY works. I want some of the best stuff here because what this does is open a gateway to get these customers to buy additional products from us if we make them*

- Admiring her in a vulnerable moment. Kink in the armor and filling the hole with good or bad things. If you don't judge them in a vulnerable moment they will trust you and view you as relationship material and will see that you are their protector.

- Talk shit in a playful manner, never lose, cross the line

- Always expect that you get 10X more in return for anything they request. "Can you hold this beer?" "Do you have 15 dollars?"

- Let them talk about themselves as well. The more she talks to you and opens up, the more she's investing

- If she's busy when you arrange a meetup say 'break your plans im more fun'

- Meet for a quick drink so that there is little pressure in the situation and pre-plan something for later after the meetup. She can come along if she wants.

- Bring friends to the meetup and they're hanging out. Go talk with her alone though.

- Spend 2-3 hours with her telling stories and having fun before the small talk. Talk shit and never lose for a few hours. Flirt for awhile. Build that framework first. If you just start with small talk then you have nothing to go back to. Flirting first gives you zingers to use later when you’d typically have awkward, nothing-to-say moments. If you’ve talked to her a lot online already, you will have this part done for you already!

- When you screw up don't say sorry or explain yourself. If you do have to though, do it in a way that isn't like explaining yourself or blame her in a funny and confident way. "Ryan and the ripped boxers"

- Never explain yourself because it looks like you are kissing up or being insecure.

- Be random once in awhile. Women love this. (Ryan: Be random a lot)

Use the funny nickname you gave her previously. If you haven’t done this until meeting her, do it now! They love it.

uNoRGaNiZeD

- Exaggerative humor and taking a nonexistent fantasy situation and making fun of them in that situation that obviously isn't real. This takes care of the human need to neg.

- Be somewhat persistent. Don't give up just because she doesn't respond once. Three is a good limit. This plugs into the 'you're losing me' thing

- Don't give approval ahead of time when first meeting instead of asking questions. Assume she's already attracted to you. None of that 'nice smile' kind of shit in your

- When your audience is reading your communication, they are alone, so speak in a comfortable, casual conversational style on both your profile and your emails.

- Indicate that you are on your path or purpose in your life and that nothing can distract you from it. Communicate that you know what you want out of life.

How to be Lucky on Purpose

Wednesday, June 24, 2015