How to be Lucky on Purpose: June 2009

Internet Dating Champion

Subtitle

By Ryan Stefan and Steven Alexander

Please note that this program is for entertainment purposes only.

APPENDIX

Part 1. An Introduction to Internet Dating

a. Why online dating?

b. What are YOU willing to do to get this area of your life under control?

c. Some elusive obvious tips to start out with/The Fundamental Laws of Online Dating

Part 2. First Impressions: The Initial Message

a. A look at what NOT to do (OR “Here’s why most sheep will lead you off the cliff”)

b. The Templates (for CL, e-mail, blogs, myspace, facebook) and WHY they WORK nearly EVERY TIME

c. Some tips on customization

Part 3. Creating a Myspace/Facebook Page that a Woman Will Never Forget

a. A quick note on Myspace and Facebook (And why you probably won’t have women flocking to it... at least at first)

b. A template for a killer social networking profile

c. For those looking for a particular TYPE of girl (social stereotyping)

Part 4. Progressing to the Next Step: IM/Text Message Game

a. Are YOU a master of words? (Condense and communicate)

b. The Pretend Game (For lack of better words, Ryan’s game theory) and some other tricks to build a lasting connection

c. Things you can throw into a chat to build attraction and things that will kill it entirely

Part 5. Getting her on the phone and meeting her

a. Why this is the easiest part to master (After the above, you already HAVE the skills to do this) (Talks about carrying the pretend game and other gambits over into phone and in-person meeting)

b. The process

c. *A segment on random additional tips and tricks for in-person connection and gambits as well as some classic PuA stuff that ACTUALLY works. I want some of the best stuff here because what this does is open a gateway to get these customers to buy additional products from us if we make them*

PART 1: An Introduction to Internet Dating

Hey. We’re glad this book fell into your hands, whether you bought it, stole it, or borrowed it from a friend. There are a lot of other materials out there on picking up women, but we noticed a trend. Those materials either suck, have a lot of fluff in them, or they tell you to treat girls like shit, which simply doesn’t work if you want a fulfilling, long-term relationship. XXXWRITE REST OF INTRODUCTION LASTXXX

Why online dating?

- Talk about the advantages of online dating

- Good for logical types

- Longer timeframe to articulate a response

- Copy and paste method. Templates

- There are hot women online some you would have never met in person

- Going to a club or bar sucks for most guys. It's just not their thing.

- When women are online don't have the 'female beauty power' or *magic pussy syndrome* power.

Most people can't attract people and end up all fucking each other in their circle of friends. It's social incest.

What are YOU willing to do to get this area of your life under control?

- Primer to the following materials

- Make sure that you actually do something with the materials provided. Because knowing something won't give you a true aha experience and a part of your brain won't know if it really works for you or not and will hold you back from doing it automatically.

- Take some stuff from the How To Change Yourself ebook and other materials. Just give some quick tips/instant gratification.

- The fun stuff is coming just keep reading

- Some form of plausible deniability such as a 30 day trial.

Some elusive obvious tips to start out with/The Fundamental Laws of Online Dating

- Fundamentals

- Talk to multiple to multiple women at the same time and don't get too attached to a particular woman or outcomes.

- Don't come from a place of fear or loss because it comes off as unattractive.

- Don't get addicted to the girl and hand your power over.

- *Since humans are made to communicate mostly with body language, we can sometimes kind of freak out when operating within the confines of machines as we are going off of our instincts and emotions. Sometimes a girl can message you and you have an emotional response to it, only to find out later that your emotional interpretation and response was TOTALLY OFF and because of it you screwed up the interaction. When this happens, just take note of it, play out the way you'd like to handle the situation next time in your head at least 7 TIMES (Explain that 7 seems to be the lucky number for automating responses) and then MOVE ON.*

- Use online dating for learning, not for the result. You aren't going to get rejected by a girl online. The worst that could happen is that she doesn't talk to you or respond, but maybe she has a boyfriend or she's a lesbian questioning her existence.

- Let go of your emotions

- Law #1? Don't do what everyone else is doing.

- Don't be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.

- WORK ON YOURSELF

- Make a list of the great stories you tell that always get laughs from your friends

- Don't indicate low self esteem/self respect, emotional problems, anger issues, issues with women, low social status, shyness, fascinations with weird things, relationship problems, pictures that social outcasts would think are cool, unless that is who you are trying to attract. Stay away from all of your issues. Elaborate. Examples.

- Don't EVER try to maneuver things into a relationship right off the bat. Girls find this SO CREEPY. You get points for casually mentioning that you’re seeking a long-term relationship, though.

Part 2. First Impressions: The Initial Message... and the next few after that

- Email address selection is important. Make sure you use a good name. Elaborate.

A look at what NOT to do (OR “Here’s why most sheep will lead you off the cliff”)

Don’t qualify yourself. Give her the hoops to jump through.

The Templates (for CL, e-mail, blogs, myspace, facebook) and WHY they WORK nearly EVERY TIME

Some tips on customization

Think of customization as an art form. There are rules or “guidelines” to be followed, and while you can bend or break these guidelines, it is recommended that you master the art within the confines of these guidelines first.

- Initial Email or Message

- Don't be bland 'see don't do what everyone else is doing'

- Read at least 100 guys' profiles//postings and note what is similar.

- Set up a profile as a woman and read the responses that come in.

- Stand out/Literally promote yourself as a product

- A good Myspace trick. Send a blank message with the headline 'hey' or something eye-catching. They will respond and say hi or who is this. Either way you have a doorway in.

- Don't be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.

- Talk shit in a playful manner, never lose, cross the line

- Always expect that you get 10X more in return for anything they request. "Can you hold this beer?" "Do you have 15 dollars?"

- Raise your standards. *You want to do this because women get SO MANY responses online that it's ridiculous. They HAVE to start weeding guys out, so no ill feelings toward them for this mmmkay? Focus on getting her attention initially. It is the MOST important thing* It's also good to maintain the frame that we are the ones choosing them, because you ultimately want to have choices anyways, right? "Discuss your boundaries, avoiding crazy chicks, the fact that women can be flaky. Just talking about high standards in an interesting and charming way can build attraction."

- Test your pics on hotornot.com before using them

- Don't ever send a 'gosh why aren't you responding you hurt my feelings?!' email. Don't be a pussy

- Most guys read a profile or ad from a girl and spend most of their time conditioning their response so that they can try to have something in common with them or to try get their approval instead of trying to figure out what she's actually like so read with a critical eye. Create forks and find something you can be in common with. Don't pick things from her profile because it's approval-seeking. The difference between this and connection is bonding. If someone says they like something and you say you like it BECAUSE of something she didn't say, then she may agree with you and SHE'S approval-seeking.

- Avoid formality.

- Don't try to talk to her on a level where you are trying to relate on a non-personal and non-sexual level. You aren't there to talk about your job and how it pertains to hers. You aren't asking for more information about living in her area because you'd like to move there because you're a fucking liar trying to pull an outcome and she knows it.

- Freeconomics quotes. 57% of men who post ads don't even get one email response. Men who say they want a long-term relationship do better than ones you want a short-term lover. The opposite is true for women. Richer men get more emails. For females there is a bell-curve. Low and high-income women are undesirable. Blond hair on a woman is worth as much as a college degree in online dating.

Part 3. Creating a Myspace/Facebook Page that a Woman Will Never Forget

Don't include pics of other things to 'convey your personality' unless you are IN THEM! EVERY PICTURE SHOULD HAVE YOU IN IT.

- Don't be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.

BE OUTRAGEOUS

- Account name selection is important. Make sure you use a good name. Elaborate.

Convey that you have standards

- Test your pics on hotornot.com before using them

- Don't do cropped photos. People WILL assume that you are hiding something or that you now don't get along with the other people in the photo or dead bodies have been cropped out. Don't edit them either.

- If you're older looking for younger women, don't state it in your email or profile or they'll think you're a perv.

- Create a blog once you have enough email addresses and have comments show up right on main page which will give female social proof.

- In marketing, if you change the headline so it's just right, you can get 5-10 times more people to respond, without even changing the rest.

- Talk about seeking a relationship. Mention it casually though. "I'm enjoying my life and it'd be great to have someone special there to enjoy it with me"

- When making a profile, go look at profiles of guys that get a lot of comments from women. Even better, ones that get a lot of comments from RANDOM women, not just guys who get lots of comment from ‘let’s just be friends’ girls.

- Ask women to look through your profile for any fatal flaws.

- Don't advertise your flaws.

- Bad boy element. Be mysterious. Coming from a bad frame according to everyone else and the woman wants to know more about it. “I’m the guy your mom warned you about” Maybe I can heal him/fixxer upper mothering instincts ACTIVATE. *It's the negative way of doing it.* Ryan says cool guy is better. Give orders in a confident way. Frame control. Really the point here though is that you are using your social networking page to convey to the woman that is already speaking to you that you are not EASILY CATEGORIZED. We want to confuse and maybe even intimidate a little here. We want her thinking “I’ve never known anyone like this before... I MUST pursue him!”

A quick note on Myspace and Facebook (And why you probably won’t have women flocking to it... at least at first)

A template for a killer social networking profile

- I like music, sports, cooking, having fun = DUMB AND BORING. SPICE IT UP!!!

- I'm a Beatles freak, I know exactly when and where each Beatle was born and I know exactly why their relationships never worked out, ask me sometime = Spiced up

- I'll cook you an Italian dinner that will make you want to kiss me, the only problem is you will have hardcore garlic breath so I won't want to kiss you = Spiced up

- I have a confession to make: I am such a sports freak that I actually put on my jersey when I watch the game with the ball in my lap. If we end up in a relationship, please schedule shoe shopping, spa visits, and male bashing during this time and it will make both of our lives better = Spiced up

- I like to work out so I don't get old and ugly faster. I hope you like to work out because well... I think I just said it = Spiced up

- I like self improvement. I'm not a self improvement freak but.... well I guess I am one. Deal with it! I like how my life and how I feel about my life get better every day = Spiced up

Customization: Think of customization as an art form. There are rules or “guidelines” to be followed, and while you can bend or break these guidelines, it is recommended that you master the art within the confines of these guidelines first.

For those looking for a particular TYPE of girl (social stereotyping)

Do you ever notice that attractive women with lots of tattoos and piercing are typically with guys that have a lot of tattoos and piercings?

While most of you are probably just looking for a nice, mentally sane, pretty girl (Like Ryan here), some guys (Like Steven) enjoy crazy, melodramatic chicks, for shits and giggles. *I want to turn this into some hardcore hilarious shit. I want to post a myspace of regular steve and then message a girl who looks really gothy or emo or some shit and get no response, and then rip off some other kids myspace, post really cheesy melodramatic shots of me or someone else with makeup on, and then message them again and get results. The world is your mirror. Convey what you want.

If you have women in your photos, make sure they mirror the type of woman you'd like to attract otherwise you may turn them off if they have their own aversions to any particular stereotypes they pick out.

Part 4. Progressing to the Next Step: IM/Text Message Game

- Screenname selection is important. Make sure you use a good name. Elaborate.

Are YOU a master of words? (Condense and communicate)

The Pretend Game (For lack of better words, Ryan’s game theory) and some other tricks to build a lasting connection

Things you can throw into a chat to build attraction and things that will kill it entirely

- IM/Chat

- A lot of guys are way too needy. Don't sell too far in advance or ask a girl out on a date after 5 minutes of chat. Build a little more attraction and ask them for something like a cup of coffee.

- Don't be monotonous or rigid or too nice. Don't get her to try to love you.

- Strike a balance between progressing to the next step, having more and more fun, and creating chemistry.

- Overexaggerate communications with smileys and exclamation points when it can be seen the wrong way but DON'T when you're just making ok. Don't do too many lol's and haha's. Save that for the girls to do.

- Mustache story

- Point system with the girl

- You're losing me

- If she starts teasing you, tease her more. Ryan uses names to converse with women online. Loser and jerkface are common names he anchors and uses and he can bring the 'game' back on even if it's been awhile since he last talked to the girl.

- Don't go into 'you seem like a nice girl. wanna talk on the phone?' if there is no reason for it just because there is a pause in the flow of the conversation. Reward them. Go the 'type faster' route. Dial up the sexual tension.

- If there is no flow in the conversation, don't say anything or say 'you're losing me' after five minutes.

- Don't be negative apologetic or critical. Never criticize condemn or complain.

-- Condense and communicate. Poetry is popular because it requires skill to come up with it. Mentions the Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller. Animals have what are called fitness indicators and sexual signaling devices. He suggests that our large brains are actually sexy and a part of one big mating ritual... this explains why the rock stars and writers can lay all the girls. If you bring some skill to the table when you communicate, you WILL captivate them. Condense a tremendous amount of meaning into a few words.

One note on condense and communicate: You can either come off to a girl as one of two types of guys online: 1. The guy that is using the internet to meet women because he is needy and can’t find women any other way or 2. The guy that is so poetic and has such a wonderful way with words that he prefers and enjoys to meet people online because words is one of his strengths. You want to be in the latter category. The only way to dealign yourself from guy #1 is to read a LOT of heavy stuff and practice these skills. I recommend starting a blog and writing about things that you love and things that piss you off. Post heated comments on other people’s blogs and see if you can provoke an intense response from others. Join a forum with a bit of an intellectual slant to it (and please, no bodybuilding forums. No offense to bodybuilders themselves but these places are breeding grounds for stupidity). Even if it’s kind of pseudo-intellectual, it’s going to make you sound WAY smarter and poetic and mysterious once you are in a place where you are speaking with a woman online. Being a master of wits is really where it’s at online, and you’ll find it VERY useful when applied in real life situations as well.

- Talk shit in a playful manner, never lose, cross the line

- Always expect that you get 10X more in return for anything they request. "Can you hold this beer?" "Do you have 15 dollars?"

- Let them talk about themselves as well. The more she talks to you and opens up, the more she's investing

- Did you make that list of stories that get laughs from your friends? Now is the time to use them. We want the girl to imagine you in as many different scenarios and settings as possible with as many different emotional infusions as possible. Think of this as taking the girl out on several different dates in her mind. It’s going to make you appear much more interesting to her.

- Don't respond too quickly to her sexual responses, or at least who you perceive as sexual responses. Women sometimes use this as a test when they first meet a guy to see what they’re after. If you come off too sexual at the beginning then you might come off as needy or as one of those guys who are only after one thing (although some girls are only after one thing so use discretion here)

- "Maybe you could take me to dinner sometime" = A test. Ask her to take you to dinner or say "There's a McDonald's around the corner". "That's a great idea, and you could give me a 2 hour massage afterwards"

- Don't ever send a 'gosh why aren't you responding you hurt my feelings?!' IM. Don't be a pussy. Elaborate more on how to deal with these situations. “You’re losing me” is a great one.

Gambits to grab her attention again: "You're losing me"

- When people complain after negging or whenever. There is a difference between vulnerable and edgy/negative/complaining which is covering up the vulnerability so don’t assume that you hurt their feelings with your neg, but keep an eye out for it. Everyone has a different level of tolerance. In some cultures, being nothing but “you are so pretty and smart” kind of nice works great, but in most societies you have to put a little burn in your words.

- Indicate good relationship with mom and sisters even if you don't to get around that initial screen.

- Be random once in awhile. Women love this. (Ryan: Be random a lot)

- Elaborate: 'window of opportunity' moments and how this is so much more important than inserting your stupid quip. Don't insert witty remarks without giving approval it's the skeptical geek way of doing things and it turns women OFF. Top left johari window if you ask them if they know why this turns women off and they say 'i dunno' or 'hes an ass' or 'he's creepy'

- *Be prepared to walk away from anyone if they aren't willing to escalate with you because they are a WASTE OF TIME!*

Message girls whenever you want. The three day rule is what everyone else is doing.

- Give her a funny nickname

Fractionate

- Emphasize that you are ambitious and passionate about the things you do. Don't brag about it though.

- Communicate that your life will be great with or without a woman and that you can make her life better if she's around you. Don't come from a frame of neediness. "I'm the best thing that can happen to this woman"

- Part 5. Getting her on the phone and meeting her

Why this is the easiest part to master/The Process (After the above, you already HAVE the skills to do this) (Talks about carrying the pretend game and other gambits over into phone and in-person meeting)

On Being Interesting

- Most people live boring lives and don't know many people who are inspired or energetic. They don't even KNOW anyone who is interesting. Attractive women tend to know more interesting guys. Segway into being interesting from Ryan's POV.

*A segment on random additional tips and tricks for in-person connection and gambits as well as some classic PuA stuff that ACTUALLY works. I want some of the best stuff here because what this does is open a gateway to get these customers to buy additional products from us if we make them*

- Admiring her in a vulnerable moment. Kink in the armor and filling the hole with good or bad things. If you don't judge them in a vulnerable moment they will trust you and view you as relationship material and will see that you are their protector.

- Talk shit in a playful manner, never lose, cross the line

- Always expect that you get 10X more in return for anything they request. "Can you hold this beer?" "Do you have 15 dollars?"

- Let them talk about themselves as well. The more she talks to you and opens up, the more she's investing

- If she's busy when you arrange a meetup say 'break your plans im more fun'

- Meet for a quick drink so that there is little pressure in the situation and pre-plan something for later after the meetup. She can come along if she wants.

- Bring friends to the meetup and they're hanging out. Go talk with her alone though.

- Spend 2-3 hours with her telling stories and having fun before the small talk. Talk shit and never lose for a few hours. Flirt for awhile. Build that framework first. If you just start with small talk then you have nothing to go back to. Flirting first gives you zingers to use later when you’d typically have awkward, nothing-to-say moments. If you’ve talked to her a lot online already, you will have this part done for you already!

- When you screw up don't say sorry or explain yourself. If you do have to though, do it in a way that isn't like explaining yourself or blame her in a funny and confident way. "Ryan and the ripped boxers"

- Never explain yourself because it looks like you are kissing up or being insecure.

- Be random once in awhile. Women love this. (Ryan: Be random a lot)

Use the funny nickname you gave her previously. If you haven’t done this until meeting her, do it now! They love it.

uNoRGaNiZeD

- Exaggerative humor and taking a nonexistent fantasy situation and making fun of them in that situation that obviously isn't real. This takes care of the human need to neg.

- Be somewhat persistent. Don't give up just because she doesn't respond once. Three is a good limit. This plugs into the 'you're losing me' thing

- Don't give approval ahead of time when first meeting instead of asking questions. Assume she's already attracted to you. None of that 'nice smile' kind of shit in your

- When your audience is reading your communication, they are alone, so speak in a comfortable, casual conversational style on both your profile and your emails.

- Indicate that you are on your path or purpose in your life and that nothing can distract you from it. Communicate that you know what you want out of life.

How to be Lucky on Purpose

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Internet Dating Champion

PART 1: An Introduction to Internet Dating

Why online dating?

What are YOU willing to do to get this area of your life under control?

Part 2. First Impressions: The Initial Message... and the next few after that

Some tips on customization

Part 3. Creating a Myspace/Facebook Page that a Woman Will Never Forget

Part 4. Progressing to the Next Step: IM/Text Message Game

- Part 5. Getting her on the phone and meeting her

uNoRGaNiZeD

About Me

Blog Archive